We are delighted to present the latest in a new series of Courtenay’s Columns, exclusive to Radiowaves.fm. Almost twenty years since the very first article, Pat is back with more musings, ponderings (and any other synonyms you can think of) along with memories from his radio past.
Pat currently presents ‘Afternoon Drive’ on Dublin’s Radio Nova, having returned to our shores in 2010.
In this article, Pat reveals a few home-truths about a former colleague…
Tony Allan
In analogue days, we used isopropyl alcohol to clean tape-heads, and methylated spirits to clean panel surfaces. At Energy, my Production studio was in reception really, with a glass wall. I’d rescued a giant, ancient, wheeled swivel-chair that no one else wanted. As I panicked my way through reception, (late for Breakfast while Fionnuala and Bob were already in) at 5:45 or so, what do I see through my glass wall, tilted back in my old chair, arms dropped, eyes shut, mouth hanging open, empty meth’ bottle on the floor? Read on.
In Wikipedia Tony Allan (whose real name was Smith, if I’m not mistaken) was “a British broadcaster and voice over artist. He broadcast almost exclusively on pirate radio stations and was highly regarded for his professionalism, his distinctive voice and clear diction, and for his ability to produce highly professional commercials and promotions.”
Let’s unpick that.
“distinctive voice.” Nasal, with a one-dimensional delivery based on established ’60s English DJs.
“clear diction.” All you have to do is open your mouth.
“ability to produce highly professional commercials and promotions.” Perhaps he had “produced” in his past but, by the time I had to work with him in 1987 he voiced. That was it. He voiced. I would keep only the most ordinary of commercials for Tony.
“He broadcast almost exclusively on pirate radio stations.” Possibly because he embraced a rebel mentality, shared the public’s view that there was more that could be done, had a vision of a Radio future and was following a dream.
Possibly because he was unemployable anywhere else.
Alcohol? Well, most of us like a drop before it’s all spilt, but not to the point where a congenial conversation with a (by all accounts, sweet-natured) fellow broadcaster will turn, in a nanosecond, to a smashed pint glass leaving lifetime scars. It happened to a Sunshine jock.
I don’t know at what stage he developed the cocaine and speed habit, (which he himself joyfully told me about one afternoon when he was high) but it does tend to make for a high-maintenance employee. It also destroys the voice.
Chris Cary (Spangles Muldoon. Love it!) once told me that, one evening, Tony Allan looked over the rail of the Caroline ship at a small boat full of kind (and brave) supporters bringing what they could. Chris mimicked Tony’s nasal voice saying, “Another boatload of fucking anoraks.”
At least we have him to thank for the fact that you’re reading this.
‘Stay tuned’ for the story of Tony’s final moments in Energy when he terrified our lovely receptionist Lisa Moreau, wanted to beat up Sybil Fennell and tried to kill me. Literally. Such a professional.
© Pat Courtenay/Radiowaves.fm.
First published August 20th 2022